| Of Rednecks, Cheap Motels and Tornadoes |
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| Written by brynna | |
| Thursday, 10 March 2005 | |
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I wrote this one last summer. Fortunately the neighbor mentioned moved out, only to be replaced with this really odd woman who paces up and down the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette. I think I prefer the dog. We've heard it all; drunken fights at three am, police pounding on doors at odd hours, overheard (and reported) child abuse, wild parties, and so on. The absolute weirdest event was an elderly man lying dead in his room for a week before the stench got to the neighbors and the owner forced herself into the room. The whackiest is ongoing... well... read on. Our little room is on the south side of the building, facing an open field away from the highway (my brilliant idea, little did I know). I wanted sunshine, fresh air, no exhaust, and so we went with the south side of the building. Picture this little scene... Our computer desk is at the foot of my bed, near the window, open curtains fluttering in the breeze. Overall it's quiet out, I'm busy writing, web-browsing, Poser-ing, whatever. Suddenly the rattle of a chain indicates that the people next door are taking their dog for a walk (a lovable black and tan coon hound). I brace myself for the inevitable - the neighbor who hasn't yet figured out that "crack kills." He's a little over six feet tall, close to five hundred pounds in weight, wears baggy sweat-shorts and no shirt. That's right... no shirt, or if he wears a shirt he leaves it unbuttoned. Nice enough person to talk to overall, but the sight of his butt crack displaying for all the world to see is damned near nauseating. The dog is this man's only redeeming quality. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't step outside when he's out, simply because he needs to at least button up his shirt. However, I can't resist petting the dog, a mushball by the name of Daisy. Before anyone gets the idea that I might have weight prejudice the answer is a big fat NO! Seeing as how I'm not the skinniest person on the planet this man's weight isn't the issue... it's his utter lack of caring about his physical appearance. Now, RJ45 has a theory on the ratio of rednecks, trailer parks and the possibility of seeing tornadoes. My feelings are that this theory applies to living in a cheap motel as well. And since we've had no less than two tornadoes in the past six months I suspect he is correct. The first one was a little mild F0 of a thing that swept through the field that is our backyard and vanished with nothing more than a few downed tree limbs. The second one was a bit more than that, to say the least. The sirens went off and we heard a knock on our door. It was, naturally, our neighbor, who had at least buttoned his shirt part of the way up. "Want to see a tornado?" he asked, and of course I did. My youngest, broken leg, cast, and all, hopped out on one leg to the parking lot, with me right behind him. I'd never seen one of the darn things before. This puppy was a wide one, dangling in the air right over the field, with nasty-looking swirling clouds surrounding it. Meanwhile behind us one person had the sense to take cover, and that was my oldest son. While younger kid and I are being stupid he's doing what he's supposed to be doing. Smart boy, too. One moment the damned thing was heading nearly due east, then suddenly it shifted directions and began heading for us. I screamed, "It's coming this way!" and I swear that kid of mine can hop faster on one leg than most people can run. We dove into the bathroom for cover, threw blankets over our heads and waited it out. The building shook, the wind roared and we cowered. Of course nothing happened as it passed right over us. However, the one thing we did note is that in this little bedroom community we live in the only place the tornado went near and over was the cheap motel. Irony? Coincidence? Perhaps RJ45's theory on the frequency of tornadoes is directly related to the amount of rednecks in a community is valid. Comments (0)
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